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For Marie, a year-old administrator based in Auckland, New Zealand, jackrabbit sex is the bane of her existence.

Jackrabbit or jackhammer sex — the two terms tend to be used synonymously — describes guys having real sex in which the penis-having partner pounds away frantically at their partner, with little to no variation in speed, depth and intensity.

Women often describe feeling haing they are being used as little more than masturbatory tools during this type of sex, and say it free swinger community guys having real sex the small matter of their own pleasure has not so much as occurred to their partners.

Is jackrabbit sex universally bad, though? Plenty of cis women and nonbinary people who sleep with men told me they thought so.

The following comments and similar variations are common: Kate Sloana sex educator and journalist, says that like many sexual acts, jackrabbit sex is appropriate in some contexts and not. Given that so many cis women and nonbinary people who sleep with men loathe jackrabbit fucking, I wondered why so many straight men were engaging in guys having real sex. Jane, a year-old lawyer based in New Zealand, tells me that guys having real sex ex could only orgasm through a solid 10 dating your ex wife tips 15 minutes of jackhammer sex.

Multiple people cited some combination of porn and monotonous masturbation as causes, including James, a year-old server in Florida.

For Jen, a year-old writer in Canada, the answer is to slow. Build excitement, instead of letting excitement completely take.

Madeleine Holden is a lawyer and freelance writer based between Berlin and New Zealand. She writes about relationships, sex, gender and whatever the hell else she feels like for MEL.